Mr. 12 still gets me flustered from a simple greeting. This walking, talking sexual act over here. You won’t love me but you will tease but one day…

I’m still not sure if it’s true love or simply infatuation or just lust… I just know that I felt something. Maybe it was the way he held my waist. Maybe it was the way he looked at me like the happiest pup in the world. I only hope I can figure it out soon.

However, one day, the feeling changed slightly. We were parting ways and he kissed me. This one kiss left me breathless, my mind blanked. He quietly says “I love you” and I somehow gain volume as I smile and say “/I/ love you, too.”

Normally he’ll tell me he loves me, and I’ll nod and smile. Maybe I’d say “love you too” but, I felt the difference. I love him, definitely, but I didn’t know if I was in love. He’s definitely loved like a pal/family. That’s for sure.

Huggy anon where are you I need you come back we need to catch up!

He called me a dweeb yesterday! I hadn’t even known people actually said that! But, then he said I was an adorable dweeb and he loved me and I swear in that moment I was too happy to think.

I really hope he doesn’t leave my side. He actually listens to me. He holds me like I’m as fragile as a feather is light. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. His kisses make me blush. His voice saying my name sends shivers down my spine in a pattern I’d call lovestruck, honestly. And, well, he’s really funny and his hair is fluffy and he’s warm and stuff and even though I’m silly he still loves me and keeps me around…

Three people TODAY have told me that I can do better than my current by and I cried running thinking about it. Maybe I could. He could do better for sure! Thanks, guys, now I’m even more afraid he’ll dump me…

But here’s the kicker: it’s not an open relationship. Here’s another kicker: he initiated this decision.
I was really surprised. I still am.

He’s been really considerate and understanding about my various insecurities and I really… I really like that. Makes me like him even more than I already did. And, well, he’s warm, and he likes to cling to me like a lonely puppy and I’m not complaining in the least I love the warmth and the attention.

… Rudy asked me to be his girlfriend on Monday morning.
It’s not even 2AM Wednesday morning and so many people know that we’re dating and it really freaked me out because people are talking about me and not to me and the people who are talking to me are asking questions that I can’t even answer yet because wow I’ve been in a relationship for less than two days I don’t know anything about where we were going….

Let me stop now before I become the girlfriend that just gushes and gushes and then gets all emotional bluhhhhh I dont want to bother people with that kinda thing I’m so sorry already

im too lazy to even fini

awkwardly peruses tumblr while in public

I feel so dirty